I spent half the money you gave me-


on a book 

you’ve never heard of 

and will never read. 

Almost cried when the clerk pulled it off the shelf. 

I didn’t expect the note 

or the money you sent me in the mail 

with my passport. 

I needed my passport 

to work 

for the rent- 

I didn’t realize I needed 

the extras 


until I wept 

my makeup 

onto my cheeks 

at 4 am 

when I got home-

a cab ride from a man 

who told me I won’t 

find love at a bar like that. 

You wrote I could tell you anything 

but I’m not entirely sure

I could not articulate what I’m feeling 

just the same as 

I cannot tell you 

I wasted your money on a book

when rent is coming 

rent is always coming 

I should be reading textbooks 

not used books 

with your money 

on a cold day 

with a $4 lunch 

watching people get off the bus 


when rent is coming. 

I know this isn’t 



I know 

this isn’t It. 


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